Friday, January 11, 2008

They came to convince me...

and it was all too much for anna.. who's head was spinning with colours & illustrations...

need to kick this n get creative...

What do u mean what do i mean?

Chocolate sundaes and chips.. yum!!

.. need to somehow conjure up $400 by Monday, or father will murder me.. hmmm! now this is a serious dilemma .. now now
theres no need to dwell on my current unemployment.. or my even more depressing lack of motivation to seek employment bcoz I'm scared out of my head that no one will hire me.. sheesh pathetic !!

Tomorrow i get to play mum with my gorgeous niece miss rose and chill with Thomas the tank engine.. stimulating but i can indulge in my sick fantasy of being simple and getting married having children and living in the suburbs..
please take note- its a SICK fantasy OK.. i need more from life.. if i have to settle down now... OMG i cant think of anything more.... dissatisfying.. brain numbing,, depressing..unfulfilled ...

"Well then Miss Anna.. What do u want?"

.....funny i dont even know how to start answering that question...

& while we r here... are you gonna cash in on that refund or not??

Thursday, January 10, 2008


Want to get a tattoo.. on my wrist... the initials of my love lost... and then forever and ever in latin underneath it... still undecided about actually having it done but i got my design pretty much sorted... maybe once ive been working for a bit.. ill risk it then..


ahh but u see then a little google search gave me this...
The Latin translation of "Forever and Always” is:

-“In aeternum et semper”(literal)
or simply:
-“In aeternum”
which means exactly “Forever and Always” as well as “Forever and ever”.

And= ET
Always = SEMPER

all of u non existent followers if any of u is a latin master then.. help me out-


Love will Tear us Apart....

ok so i'm 24... turning 25 in about 6 mnths.. and so not where i expected to be at this stage in my life.. but wat can u do? nothing really just try and change your life... and be happy with wat u got.. besides its not like im a no hoper loser... my whole world stopped about 3 yrs ago.. and its only just starting to spin forgive me..
anyways.. so i'm Anna i lost my one and only love who has not been awarded a name yet.. (coz i cant think of a good one yet)
i got together with his brother.. Cassio.. which is now a relationship im aware i shouldnt have established and am gently trying to ease out of it.. though am still holding onto it in a sense..
and im in love with Taszar..n the reminder of my love lost.. and everything i want.. but prob. shouldnt have.. becoz he is not only just a baby.. 18
but .. i should chill from the boys for a while dont u think??
well why wont the boys let me??

the whole point of this post was to winge about marriage and the fact that Cassio is trying to force me into marrying him.. when quiet clearly im not ready..
if this blog is anything to go by at least..
but now im too full of too many emotions and thoughts.. that im exhausted and has lost the energy to continue with my harping on about dreaded marriage

Srsly HOT!!

Daaammmnnn... Seriously hot!!.. ok so i'm female.. im straight.. i wouldnt say no to a raunchy session with some hot girls dont get me wrong im open minded and have some pretty general fantasies.. but this image isnt up here for sexuality.. its here bcoz it still hold that element of class and mystery..
its not a "dirty" image.. its a beautiful image.. its composition.. the model and her beauty.. elegance..
i like to just ramble out words if u havent noticed..
anyway just enjoy the beauty of form in this image and maybe it will encourage the beauty of thought..
or jus turn u on.. ill admit to its high erotic factor ok ok!! sheesh...
ddaaaaammmnnnnnn .. sorry but im a bit hot now

a la a la a lalalalalalala a LAAA!!

I can't stand you..
I just love you..
I got something to give you but..
I don't want to..
The one I wanna be close to but..
I can't touch you..
coz I can see you but..
I can't see good coz
You keep me cryin...

Anna & Taszar.. Day Dreams..

Anna was excited to see him.. she looked hot.. and she knew it, all for it.

They'd been seeing each other for a few mnths now.. things had been getting serious even though she was still tangled up in a complicated relationship.. He was everything she had been looking for and everything she had already lost.. almost three years ago.

Only there was a catch..Is'nt there always??
You mean something other than the fact that she is leading on 2 men,,,
well yeh thats just it.. anna has become wat she never wanted.. a cheater.. dishonest.. and so confused... oh yeh did i mention.. he's 6 years younger than her.. not that astounding u may think... but he's just graduated highschool and shes just graduated university... if only it was a few years later... sigh

Anyway the party started an hour ago and Anna knew he was already there.. for it was his cousins party.. Anna intended to arrive late as usual.. in order to make the most impact on him.. and that troublemaker candy who's been chasing after him for a while now..
Anna had been daydreaming it out for a while now.. she would walk in on candy and Taszar kissing in his cousins bedroom.. Anna the epitome of class would scoff.. and then politely say " oh dont mind me jus grabbing my things" to which Taszar would push candy back in shock & disgust and say
"Anna no, please wait, i need to talk to u"
"Wats there to talk about?"
'please anna dont be like that... im sorry please dont leave.."
sigh.." look i know that obviously im not exactly entitled to be jealous or anything as we arent exactly official or "seeing" each other .... but wat is it? are u just keeping ur options open? or are u actually playing games? just be honest..."
"no u know how i feel about u anna.."
anna looks at him with one eyebrow arched..
" i love u.. im in love with.. i have been since the first day i met u.. your amazing.. your everything i could ever want in a women and here u are...i still cant believe it.. which is why im so reluctant to move things forward.."
'its not that i want things to move forward taszar.. i just want honesty.. iv been falling for u for so long now and fast... im still all mixed up with ending things with Cassio .. I love you too Taszar but i want things to go slow we havnt even talked about this kind of stuff much.."
" i know .. its just that we r both wary i guess.."
" thats fine.. wary is all very well and good but i continue this with u if ur going to play around with me.. "
" i swear to u anna.. that with candy was nothing.. u know im not interested in her.."
"so wat.. r u keeping ur options open?? i dont want u guys to not be friends or watever but come on.. shes gotta get the message"
"i know.. i gotta be more forceful i spose..."
they fell into each others arms kissing and murming i love yous.. completely obvlious to Candy who was still in the room.. having heard everything..


funny tho... how it really panned out...
Anna and taszar flirted all night.. enjoying their secret little romance and private jokes,, candy floated around in the background trying to get noticed.. everyone was completley unaware of anna and taszar's secret fling which had been ongoing for a few months now..
Anna is sitting in the same bedroom in which she had been daydreaming the earlier little senario...
taszar appeared...
they are sitting next to each other.. close.. touching but casually... so as not to raise suspicion.. there are other people in the room...
time passes..
peopple come in and out
at last... they are alon in the room.. guests are just outside the room distracted...
taszar slyly pushes the door shut..
takes anna's face in his hands and kisses her.. the kiss passionatly.. but not for long..
the door bursts open and anna and taszar pull apart..the intruder.. Samantha.. she's seen it all... it all happens quickly but when anna looks up and out the door way she stares right into candy's eyes.. who looks completly shocked..
samantha aware that she has been the cause of an awkward moment leaves suddenly closing the door behind her..
anna turns to taszar
" candy jus saw everything.."
"this is ur fault" jokingly..
"mine?? ha .. your the one who closed the door"
"yeh well if u werent so u...." taszar trails off... the door opens again and a crowd of people burst in.. anna distracts herself with the newcomers... out the side of her eye she see's candy approach taszar " can we talk please"..
he looks at anna kinda like .. oh F@%!.. and nods.. they leave the room..
taszars cousin approaches..
"i heard about u and taszar..."
anna looks at him , kinda guilty.. " um oops" gives a little grin
he bends down and kisses her cheek and whispers.." its ok, i still love you.."
and then leaves with his girlfriend..
anna continues to distract herself even tho shes trying to imagine wat taszar and candy are talking about...
eventually she calls him..
" having some dramas??"
"yes... well no... well yes actually.., im coming back inside soon"
"ok just that i was gonna bail soon"
"ok wait up"
they reappear some 2o minutes later...
anna stands up and announces her departure .. taszar stands with her, they say their good byes..
candy stares.. and no fake nicities are exchanged between the girls.. in fact nothing at all..
taszar tells anna everything.. how candy thought they were together.. and felt cheated on.. how he told her he wasnt interested.. how she blamed anna.. how he defended anna..
she stayed with him that night...and other nights after that...
still it worked in anna's favour
but completly different to her original day dream...
its funny how things pan out dont u think?

Anna & Taszar to be continued.. you see becoz they are still enjoying each other and taking things slow.. and Anna? well she's all messed up isnt she..

Day Dream.. I fell asleep beneath the flowers
for a couple hours
what a beautiful day..
Day Dream.. I dream of you beneath the flowers
for a couple of hours
such a beautiful day...