Dont Sue

ok dont sue me!!.. to all the amazing designers out there.. i post images of your work becoz i love it.. it inspires me.. and i want to inspire the world.. sorry sometimes i may not always give direct credit to your work specifically.. but i promise i will mention u as this blog grows.. becoz u see.. your wat drives me to become a better designer.. to THINK... so if u see you work on here.. rest assured.. im not trying to steal ur stuff or claim credit... im just loving u and wat u do...
so dont sue me ok
and peeps out there.. non exsistant followers to this blog... not EVERYTHING i post visually will be mine.. oki?

sorted..

Dear Diary.. Wat a day its been...

Dear Blog,
I originally established you for many reasons.. some being of which..

to write about life in a philosophical manner..
explore my creativity
a dear friend mentioned that im crazy enough
to create an interestingly enough blog..
question life.. push my intellect... get some semi decent book writing material :)

its all a bit daunting my dear blog.. i'm depressed and confused and scared.. discovering myself through you is a daunting task.. especially when one is reluctant to face some of the truths she has been ignoring..

i just wanna be amazing and good and wise.. live a full life!! dont want anyone to hold me back and i dont want him to be disapointed in me.. becoz lets be honest here im kinda disapointed in myself for being the kind of woman i never wanted to be.. weak.. dependant.. confused.. while im fronting that really im strong and confindent and wise!!

ok blog im a bit melancholic now.. so i shall try to achieve more of my goals through you.. but give me time.. i may take things slow you see.. and you'll jus have to settle for the aesthetic i'll be aiming to provide until the real substance seeps thru.. becoz if im worth it, you'll stick around to find out wont you?

Oh my..

Phantoms!!
Whenever I think I fully understand mankinds purpose on earth, just when i foolishly imagine that I have seized upon the meaning of life...
Suddenly I see phantoms dancing the shadows, Mysterious phantoms performing a gavotte that says, as pointedly as words, "What you know is nothing, little man; what you have to learn, immense".

- Charles Dickens..

Inspiration behind words.. means???

Mass confusion
In my head
Killing me
Driving me mad
Got me wondering..
Can i trust my friends?
Coz they sticking me in my back
every chance they get
Am I paranoid??
and if thats the case
is it curable?
can u help me find my place?
I can't handle this..
I'm losing it..
With a loose grip I'm hanging onto
emptiness....
Help your brother..
save him from the...
evil demons...
in between us..

in between us....

How can i make this good??

Sigh... how can i make this good??
i dunno

i miss him dearly-
so much so

why do i always fall for the complicated ones... and dont call me selfish
but sheesh ... NOT having a relationship would be quiet nice for once
or do i sound like one of those poor me poor little rich girls??

perhaps

anyway dont know how to make this truely interesting but alas... i shall jus make it like a digital diary.. butn more like one of my art diary rather than a "dear diary " senario..

until next time

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Bluebirds in our hearts...long lost loves.. & deepest desire for the ones we cant have... sigh

Theres a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out..
But i'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there..
I'm not going to let anybody see you...

Theres a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out..
But i pour whiskey on him & inhale cigarette smoke &
the whores & bartenders & the grocery clerks
never know he's in there..

Theres a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out..
But I'm too tough for him,
I say, Stay down..
Do you want to mess me up??
Do you want to screw up the works??
Do you want to blow my book sales in Europe??

Theres a bluebird in my hear that wants to get out..
But I'm too clever
I only let him out at night sometimes
when everybody is asleep..
I say, I know your in there
so dont be sad..
then i put him back,
but he's singing a little in there,
i havent quiet let him die
& we sleep together like that
with our secret pact
& its nice enough to make a man weep,
but I dont weep,
do you????



-charles bukawski (or something of the like...)

I adore this poem...
i love bluebirds.. their beauty.. their symbolism
...
their FREEDOM
damn how i need some freedom
i mean i tried to break up with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years but its a terrifying expierence... ok in truth im fukd!! excuse my french - but i am ... im being the person iv never wanted to ever be.. im struggling to be honest.. im terrified of the cosequences..
im in love with a guy who is amazing but so so young
too young..
but perfect.. or am i jus pining after my one lost...
will i ever get over him? no i dont think i ever will..
will i ever let go of him?? of his memory??.. again i dont know its been nearly three yrs and it still feels all too raw
how can u ever get over the one
especially when they r dead


Jr (alter ego for the younger guy who im madly in love with)
Jr is perfect but so much like him..
so similar to him.. freaky but i think they even share birthdays
so its... similar family situation
same nationality
same
same
same
same
too much
omg this is too much... must pour my heart out another day bcoz im getting all emo (emotional)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
much love non exsistant followers

im goofy?? yet brilliant!! lets focus on the brilliant side of me everyone..btw did u know? I'm a Leo

***Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)***


Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.


How Rare Is Your Personality?
http://www.blogthings.com/howrareisyourpersonalityquiz/

ahh well that explain why i get on with men better than i do women..
obviously my rather rare personality which is more common in males than females has enabled me to form some sort of special bond with the male species.. how fortunate for lil ol me
lol
crackhead!!!


some green for my one and only tru love.. my man
xooxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo